December has arrived with it's divine mix of cold and flu season with insane party season, mixed in with Christmas lights, Carols and our Holiday Concert. Plus Guilt and faux pas. Deck the Halls with it all. Our first Christmas as a married couple.
Our season started early in November with a surprise birthday party in Toronto. In attendance were a lot of people who knew me but had not met Twinkie yet. So I tried to keep remembering to introduce her. I sometimes fail at this. I have been practicing saying to people "I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Twinkie". This statement in itself is political, because my wife doesn't look like a traditional wife, nor does the word wife look like her, nor does she look like a traditional woman, nor does the name Twinkie fit her completely anymore. But we are so proud to claim our union and these are the words that make it make sense. I now pronounce you ... ??? What are two married women or two married men? Wives? Husbands? Spouses sounds too legal and clinical. There are no words for us except married.
One gentleman from the prairies had a startled look on his face after I introduced him to Twinkie. Twinkie told me that she thought he looked like he was incredibly shocked. Turns out she was right - later on, the prairie gentleman admitted that he was absolutely shocked that I had a wife. Who knew. I was oblivious to the level of the shock, and I am grateful for that. I'm also glad that he now has us in his sphere of normal - or normalish.
Throughout the fall, we have been brainstorming names that are more representative of Twinkie's gender. The name needs to be androgynous, and loved by Twinkie. After viewing the Gender Failure show in St. Catharines and watching performers Ivan Coyote and Rae Spoon, Twinkie really identified with the writing and performing, so she purchased Rae's book (Ivan had sold out of books). When Twinkie asked Rae to sign it - Twinkie said - it is for Twinkie and used her girly birth name. Rae repeated Twinkie's girly birth name and Twinkie realized again that her inside persona and outside persona and her name do not reflect each other. It is time for a change.
We have been workshopping names and trying them on to see what fits. Many names remind us of other people, so they don't work. But with our friends, we have narrowed it down to about 5 finalists. Twinkie wants to have made a decision by the New Year. I suppose I will have to change the name Twinkie as well to something more androgynous. Mars, JosLouis, Loaf, Banana Bread, Square, Bar ... nothing even comes close. Possibly Prince - just like how Michael Jackson named his children Prince.
Last week, Twinkie went to visit her neices. The eldest was in her school Holiday concert. Twinkie loved every adorable, squeaking, forgetful, loud, moment in the concert. She might even say that while she did plug her ears for part of the band performance, it, too was delightful. Instead of "Five Golden Rings" the kids sang "Di - Ver - Si - Ty". Amazing. But for Twinkie, the most delightful moment was when her three year old niece sat on her lap, brushed her hair back, gave her a tiara and said "Now, you are a handsome prince".
And so she is, and so it is.
Yours in Holiday and Everyday "Di - Ver - Si - Ty".
