December has arrived with it's divine mix of cold and flu season with insane party season, mixed in with Christmas lights, Carols and our Holiday Concert. Plus Guilt and faux pas. Deck the Halls with it all. Our first Christmas as a married couple.
Our season started early in November with a surprise birthday party in Toronto. In attendance were a lot of people who knew me but had not met Twinkie yet. So I tried to keep remembering to introduce her. I sometimes fail at this. I have been practicing saying to people "I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Twinkie". This statement in itself is political, because my wife doesn't look like a traditional wife, nor does the word wife look like her, nor does she look like a traditional woman, nor does the name Twinkie fit her completely anymore. But we are so proud to claim our union and these are the words that make it make sense. I now pronounce you ... ??? What are two married women or two married men? Wives? Husbands? Spouses sounds too legal and clinical. There are no words for us except married.
One gentleman from the prairies had a startled look on his face after I introduced him to Twinkie. Twinkie told me that she thought he looked like he was incredibly shocked. Turns out she was right - later on, the prairie gentleman admitted that he was absolutely shocked that I had a wife. Who knew. I was oblivious to the level of the shock, and I am grateful for that. I'm also glad that he now has us in his sphere of normal - or normalish.
Throughout the fall, we have been brainstorming names that are more representative of Twinkie's gender. The name needs to be androgynous, and loved by Twinkie. After viewing the Gender Failure show in St. Catharines and watching performers Ivan Coyote and Rae Spoon, Twinkie really identified with the writing and performing, so she purchased Rae's book (Ivan had sold out of books). When Twinkie asked Rae to sign it - Twinkie said - it is for Twinkie and used her girly birth name. Rae repeated Twinkie's girly birth name and Twinkie realized again that her inside persona and outside persona and her name do not reflect each other. It is time for a change.
We have been workshopping names and trying them on to see what fits. Many names remind us of other people, so they don't work. But with our friends, we have narrowed it down to about 5 finalists. Twinkie wants to have made a decision by the New Year. I suppose I will have to change the name Twinkie as well to something more androgynous. Mars, JosLouis, Loaf, Banana Bread, Square, Bar ... nothing even comes close. Possibly Prince - just like how Michael Jackson named his children Prince.
Last week, Twinkie went to visit her neices. The eldest was in her school Holiday concert. Twinkie loved every adorable, squeaking, forgetful, loud, moment in the concert. She might even say that while she did plug her ears for part of the band performance, it, too was delightful. Instead of "Five Golden Rings" the kids sang "Di - Ver - Si - Ty". Amazing. But for Twinkie, the most delightful moment was when her three year old niece sat on her lap, brushed her hair back, gave her a tiara and said "Now, you are a handsome prince".
And so she is, and so it is.
Yours in Holiday and Everyday "Di - Ver - Si - Ty".
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thank you notes!
Emily Post be damned, we are almost finished our Thank You notes. We haven't yet picked up our loot from the Registry, nor have we decorated our house with the presents that we received. We had hoped to be in our own house near water and sea glass when we unpacked all of that. Although that is coming soon, it is not here yet.
Only one person voiced their anger because they didn't think they would get a thank-you from us. If any more of you were angry, thank you for not voicing it. I'm sure the woman who brought me into the world might be feeling some feelings, because it is her two thank-you notes about which I am procrastinating the most.
I have to just bite the bullet and send them - or maybe write them first. It isn't that I am not thankful, because I am really very grateful and thankful for her. It is just that - it is so hard to fit so much gratitude into such a little note.
Since I started this post, we have realized that we owe not one, but about 4 thank-you notes - so we need to get writing.
Thank you Emily Post for the extension - although one friend said that not only did we have a year to write the notes, we also should have included the group photo in the thank you notes. Sorry about that. We do plan to have a party with all the people involved in the wedding in the near future. After the thank you notes are done.
Thank you all. Let us know if you still need a thank you note :).
Only one person voiced their anger because they didn't think they would get a thank-you from us. If any more of you were angry, thank you for not voicing it. I'm sure the woman who brought me into the world might be feeling some feelings, because it is her two thank-you notes about which I am procrastinating the most.
I have to just bite the bullet and send them - or maybe write them first. It isn't that I am not thankful, because I am really very grateful and thankful for her. It is just that - it is so hard to fit so much gratitude into such a little note.
Since I started this post, we have realized that we owe not one, but about 4 thank-you notes - so we need to get writing.
Thank you Emily Post for the extension - although one friend said that not only did we have a year to write the notes, we also should have included the group photo in the thank you notes. Sorry about that. We do plan to have a party with all the people involved in the wedding in the near future. After the thank you notes are done.
Thank you all. Let us know if you still need a thank you note :).
Thursday, July 5, 2012
And so it was ... and it was beautiful ....
And so, it happened! Two months ago, and without pew bows, the twigs for which are still sitting in our front hallway.
It happened wonderfully and beautifully and romantically. We couldn't have had things go better. People were sweet and kind and loving and giving. Family was fabulous and sweet and wonderful. The kids were fantastic - and even though we wanted to pull Johnny off the church pedestal, on which he was planking, even that was memorable. Possibly sacrilegious, but memorable. Neither Twinkie nor I were able to talk to everyone present, but we did talk to some people. The food was really, really good. Surprisingly good.
At the last minute our room was moved to the bigger room at Fantasy Farm. The room had floor to ceiling windows along one wall that faced out into the forest (and a bit of the parking lot ;)). All 60 of the little candles in mason jars, surrounded by coffee beans, were used in the room, and lit at sundown.
For me, having the bridal party and parents dance out to "Born This Way" was incredibly impactful and important, and between than and the beautiful ceremony, and really everything else, made us wish we really had had a videographer.
Our MC was amazing, and sang beautifully at the end of the evening. Our ushers were classy and marvellous. One usher also sang beautifully at the end of the evening.The readers read exquisitely! All five of the kids in the ceremony were gorgeous and sweet and we were touched that they were there, and also touched that they all signed the "Certificate" of Marriage (non-legal) that we will frame. No problem that some of them signed on top of someone else's signature, they all signed.
All of the bride's maids and other bride's maids and man did an amazing job. It was amazing to have my daughter at my side and to have a meaningful ceremony with my daughter's father and his partner. I know Twinkie feels blessed and honoured to have had her dear friends at her side.
The speeches were exquisite and well-received. The video from the Good Lovelies was incredibly lovely and such a treat. Both of Twinkie's attendees gave great speeches, Creampuff gave a lovely speech. The Palindrome gave a lovely speech - fondly remembering something that hadn't ever occurred, lovely.
And then we flooded the dancefloor - gay and straight, young and old, and we danced!
The day was magical. The limos were magical, even if (apologies) some people had to crawl in them on their hands and feet.
Family members who don't get together often, got together. The menfolk were sweet and loving and fully made up for both of our fathers, who for various reasons did not attend. People flew in and drove in from all corners of the earth to be present with us on our big day.
For me, it was amazing to have my dearest friends in the world, at my side, and in the same room. And it was beyond amazing to have Tiger walk me down the aisle - a trip many years ago that we had considered taking together.
And it was a big day. A really big, long day of ceremony and celebration. And the pictures are beautiful - a snapshot of how it all was - May 5, 2012.
And then it was over. Abruptly. At the end of the night, with much help and very sore feet, the candles were extinguished and the overhead lights went on. Romance and magic evaporating into the cool night. We dismantled the room, packed away things and then all piled into taxis back to the hotel.
In the following weeks, life and its happenings began their circular rhythms. Couples split, jobs were lost, jobs were gained, people moved across the country, people got sick, people moved. Nothing is how it was on that day two months ago. So very much has changed.
And the wedding itself was just a day - when all is said and done and paid for, it was just a day. It was an exquisite day, but the high and glory of that day did not in any way prepare us better for our first post-nuptial argument - when the stakes were so much greater, heavier and more serious than before. When the thought of losing each other actually entered into our minds and frightened both of us down to our cores.
We brought six or seven of the hens and chicks plants back home and had the good sense to plant them in the garden. Two weeks later, we found that despite the bad soil, lack of watering and attention, the hens and chicks had taken root. That fact really centered me. Even my bouquet, hanging upside down in our house, has taken root and somehow gleaned enough moisture from our house air, to grow and continue to flower.
I have a spider plant that my 22 year old daughter gave me when she was 2. It has been split and replanted so many times I can't remember. There have been times that it has died and I've had to start with one or two cuttings to bring it back to good health, and times that it has been burned by frost or sun. But it still grows, and every spring it goes outside to spend the summer in sun.
And back to gardening. Usually back to gardening.
The wedding was much more beautiful than we could have planned and the weekend and day were exquisite. People surprised and delighted us, and were so incredibly helpful - Heather's family and my family were both unbelievably helpful! It was amazing.
And we are married. And we are happily married. And trying each day to keep some of the glory and magic of that coffee candlelit night in our hearts as we muddle through the maze of life.
Yours in love and matrimony,
Cupcake and Twinkie
It happened wonderfully and beautifully and romantically. We couldn't have had things go better. People were sweet and kind and loving and giving. Family was fabulous and sweet and wonderful. The kids were fantastic - and even though we wanted to pull Johnny off the church pedestal, on which he was planking, even that was memorable. Possibly sacrilegious, but memorable. Neither Twinkie nor I were able to talk to everyone present, but we did talk to some people. The food was really, really good. Surprisingly good.
At the last minute our room was moved to the bigger room at Fantasy Farm. The room had floor to ceiling windows along one wall that faced out into the forest (and a bit of the parking lot ;)). All 60 of the little candles in mason jars, surrounded by coffee beans, were used in the room, and lit at sundown.
For me, having the bridal party and parents dance out to "Born This Way" was incredibly impactful and important, and between than and the beautiful ceremony, and really everything else, made us wish we really had had a videographer.
Our MC was amazing, and sang beautifully at the end of the evening. Our ushers were classy and marvellous. One usher also sang beautifully at the end of the evening.The readers read exquisitely! All five of the kids in the ceremony were gorgeous and sweet and we were touched that they were there, and also touched that they all signed the "Certificate" of Marriage (non-legal) that we will frame. No problem that some of them signed on top of someone else's signature, they all signed.
All of the bride's maids and other bride's maids and man did an amazing job. It was amazing to have my daughter at my side and to have a meaningful ceremony with my daughter's father and his partner. I know Twinkie feels blessed and honoured to have had her dear friends at her side.
The speeches were exquisite and well-received. The video from the Good Lovelies was incredibly lovely and such a treat. Both of Twinkie's attendees gave great speeches, Creampuff gave a lovely speech. The Palindrome gave a lovely speech - fondly remembering something that hadn't ever occurred, lovely.
And then we flooded the dancefloor - gay and straight, young and old, and we danced!
The day was magical. The limos were magical, even if (apologies) some people had to crawl in them on their hands and feet.
Family members who don't get together often, got together. The menfolk were sweet and loving and fully made up for both of our fathers, who for various reasons did not attend. People flew in and drove in from all corners of the earth to be present with us on our big day.
For me, it was amazing to have my dearest friends in the world, at my side, and in the same room. And it was beyond amazing to have Tiger walk me down the aisle - a trip many years ago that we had considered taking together.
And it was a big day. A really big, long day of ceremony and celebration. And the pictures are beautiful - a snapshot of how it all was - May 5, 2012.
And then it was over. Abruptly. At the end of the night, with much help and very sore feet, the candles were extinguished and the overhead lights went on. Romance and magic evaporating into the cool night. We dismantled the room, packed away things and then all piled into taxis back to the hotel.
In the following weeks, life and its happenings began their circular rhythms. Couples split, jobs were lost, jobs were gained, people moved across the country, people got sick, people moved. Nothing is how it was on that day two months ago. So very much has changed.
And the wedding itself was just a day - when all is said and done and paid for, it was just a day. It was an exquisite day, but the high and glory of that day did not in any way prepare us better for our first post-nuptial argument - when the stakes were so much greater, heavier and more serious than before. When the thought of losing each other actually entered into our minds and frightened both of us down to our cores.
We brought six or seven of the hens and chicks plants back home and had the good sense to plant them in the garden. Two weeks later, we found that despite the bad soil, lack of watering and attention, the hens and chicks had taken root. That fact really centered me. Even my bouquet, hanging upside down in our house, has taken root and somehow gleaned enough moisture from our house air, to grow and continue to flower.
I have a spider plant that my 22 year old daughter gave me when she was 2. It has been split and replanted so many times I can't remember. There have been times that it has died and I've had to start with one or two cuttings to bring it back to good health, and times that it has been burned by frost or sun. But it still grows, and every spring it goes outside to spend the summer in sun.
And back to gardening. Usually back to gardening.
The wedding was much more beautiful than we could have planned and the weekend and day were exquisite. People surprised and delighted us, and were so incredibly helpful - Heather's family and my family were both unbelievably helpful! It was amazing.
And we are married. And we are happily married. And trying each day to keep some of the glory and magic of that coffee candlelit night in our hearts as we muddle through the maze of life.
Yours in love and matrimony,
Cupcake and Twinkie
Monday, April 30, 2012
Back to Blonde
With 6 days to go, we both decided to go back to Blonde.
'nuff said.
Yours in matrimonial excitement
Cupcake
'nuff said.
Yours in matrimonial excitement
Cupcake
Saturday, April 21, 2012
flower girl dress stress
So, every night for weeks we've been doing something or other and we are pooped! On Wednesday while visiting a friend, she draped us in blankets and gave us little nap time. I am not generally a napper, but yes please.
Taking this into account, the logical thing do on a Friday after a very full week and workday was to drive across the GTA in cottage rush hour traffic to shop at "Adorable Kids" for flower girl dresses at a store that closes at 6 pm. It was not like a nap. It was like a war. It was not adorable.
By the end of the day, we had two beautiful flower girl dresses. Unfortunately during a particularly heated part of the drive the engagement rings were tossed off and the wedding cancelled.
But that was a argument and we take it all in stride! We are taking a page out of the book of our plucky flower girls.
Don't they look happy in their new dresses?
Yours in sleep
Cupcake
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Polygamy
Turns out you can just be married to one person at a time, and the government wants to be sure of that. Much to our surprise, it turns out that the government authorities require some proof of our respective divorces. Turns out they say they need it for their "records".
I asked my dear friend TS to help out and try to get my documents from the courthouse - his office does this sort of thing. He replied back that although they had tried - since my divorce was almost 20 years ago, they didn't have that sort of thing on file, in fact, they had no record of my existence. I found that insulting of the courts.
And that response made me hightail it to ratland - aka the garage - to find a box that might have copies of something like this. Twinkie assured me that she knew the box it might be in - she had captured it in her memory bank from our marathon garage cleaning session. Turns out she was right and VOILA I have a photocopy of my Divorce Judgment complete with Court File number. Of course this isn't sufficient - we have to get the court to certify it! And who knows how long that will take.
However, despite my arctic blondness, they will now be convinced that my divorce exists. How comforting.
Since our plan at the big shindig is to have all in the wedding party, kids and all, sign the marriage license, finding the divorce stuff is comforting.
Twinkie is still looking for hers - but since she was married in this century, it shouldn't be hard for her.
And the clock ticks on - for one reason or another we've been out every night for weeks. A dear friend last night told us that it might be an idea to rest up and stay home a bit so that we can have time and space to be excited about the big day.
True words.
Yours in non-polygamy and pre-wedding bliss and exhaustion
Cupcake
I asked my dear friend TS to help out and try to get my documents from the courthouse - his office does this sort of thing. He replied back that although they had tried - since my divorce was almost 20 years ago, they didn't have that sort of thing on file, in fact, they had no record of my existence. I found that insulting of the courts.
And that response made me hightail it to ratland - aka the garage - to find a box that might have copies of something like this. Twinkie assured me that she knew the box it might be in - she had captured it in her memory bank from our marathon garage cleaning session. Turns out she was right and VOILA I have a photocopy of my Divorce Judgment complete with Court File number. Of course this isn't sufficient - we have to get the court to certify it! And who knows how long that will take.
However, despite my arctic blondness, they will now be convinced that my divorce exists. How comforting.
Since our plan at the big shindig is to have all in the wedding party, kids and all, sign the marriage license, finding the divorce stuff is comforting.
Twinkie is still looking for hers - but since she was married in this century, it shouldn't be hard for her.
And the clock ticks on - for one reason or another we've been out every night for weeks. A dear friend last night told us that it might be an idea to rest up and stay home a bit so that we can have time and space to be excited about the big day.
True words.
Yours in non-polygamy and pre-wedding bliss and exhaustion
Cupcake
Sunday, April 15, 2012
21 Days to go - 3 weeks - a little less than a month ...???!!!!!!!!@@@@@
As we sit here meditating and drinking green tea ...
No, that is not the truth. The truth is we are watching Law and Order and putting our feet up. My coffee is brewing and Twinkie is having a tea. Three weeks to go. THREE WEEKS!!!!
How on earth did that happen?
We had high hopes of acing this wedding thing, being super-organized, having things roll together like a well -oiled machine. So ... today, we woke up, went to a dress fitting, ran into our neighbour, went to Square One, picked up Creampuff's dress, shopped for TwinkieNiece dresses, got back in the car, drove to The Bay and finished adding things to the registry.
Registries are weird. Well - if you are the one making it, it is weird. I like nothing better than the intimate act of settng a budget and then finding the right combination of egg slicer, asparagus cooker, fondue cooker and shrimp deveiner that adds up to the right number. Brilliant. But being on the other side is weird.
At first, we didn't think we'd have a registry. But then - people kept asking, and then started frantically asking for us to hurry up and get it together and get registered. So we got registered. And then just put the whole registry thing aside. When we finally gathered up the courage, we set a date and went to The Bay, got a scanner and started to scan things for the registry. Weird.
That is what you do - you go in, get the scanner and scan the things you want. Should be fun. Well, the first time it wasn't. It was too weird. So we went back home, put it aside and waited for another right time.
Three weeks later, also known as today, we went to the best Bay ever, the downtown Bay. We marched up to the 5th Floor, and asked for the scanner. And then we mustered up our bravery and spent the next two hours walking around the downtown Bay picking things out, talking about them, sitting in weird chairs and making up table settings of display china. And then something even weirder happened, we started to have fun.
At the end of the day, when we returned the scanner, the Gift Registry woman said we should have had a consultation, and plunked us down to give it to us. We learned so many appropriate bridal things from a woman using the dirtiest long nails I have ever seen to point at pretty pretty things on glossy paper. They even gave me a frosty bottle of cold water!
With sore feet and a full registry we returned home. The registry is done - pretty weird process - but the things we chose are things we would love to have, and we hope that people who want to use the registry are the people who will choose to use it.
Yours in CHORES and love and registry mania,
Cupcake
No, that is not the truth. The truth is we are watching Law and Order and putting our feet up. My coffee is brewing and Twinkie is having a tea. Three weeks to go. THREE WEEKS!!!!
How on earth did that happen?
We had high hopes of acing this wedding thing, being super-organized, having things roll together like a well -oiled machine. So ... today, we woke up, went to a dress fitting, ran into our neighbour, went to Square One, picked up Creampuff's dress, shopped for TwinkieNiece dresses, got back in the car, drove to The Bay and finished adding things to the registry.
Registries are weird. Well - if you are the one making it, it is weird. I like nothing better than the intimate act of settng a budget and then finding the right combination of egg slicer, asparagus cooker, fondue cooker and shrimp deveiner that adds up to the right number. Brilliant. But being on the other side is weird.
At first, we didn't think we'd have a registry. But then - people kept asking, and then started frantically asking for us to hurry up and get it together and get registered. So we got registered. And then just put the whole registry thing aside. When we finally gathered up the courage, we set a date and went to The Bay, got a scanner and started to scan things for the registry. Weird.
That is what you do - you go in, get the scanner and scan the things you want. Should be fun. Well, the first time it wasn't. It was too weird. So we went back home, put it aside and waited for another right time.
Three weeks later, also known as today, we went to the best Bay ever, the downtown Bay. We marched up to the 5th Floor, and asked for the scanner. And then we mustered up our bravery and spent the next two hours walking around the downtown Bay picking things out, talking about them, sitting in weird chairs and making up table settings of display china. And then something even weirder happened, we started to have fun.
At the end of the day, when we returned the scanner, the Gift Registry woman said we should have had a consultation, and plunked us down to give it to us. We learned so many appropriate bridal things from a woman using the dirtiest long nails I have ever seen to point at pretty pretty things on glossy paper. They even gave me a frosty bottle of cold water!
With sore feet and a full registry we returned home. The registry is done - pretty weird process - but the things we chose are things we would love to have, and we hope that people who want to use the registry are the people who will choose to use it.
Yours in CHORES and love and registry mania,
Cupcake
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Fantasy Farm Renovates!
So ...
Twinkie and I had a difference of opinion on the stained glass at Fantasy Farm. We both thought it was really neat - Cinderella, maybe some dwarves, maybe some carriages, possibly pumpkins - whimsical motifs in primary colours. Basically what the walls of our apartment looked like when Creampuff was teaching me how not to be a grown up. So - neat,quirky, funny, whimsical. Not a bad thing.
But here is the thing. Firstly - they told us it might be renovated - and that for me was a big plus. Secondly - I am 18 years older than Twinkie. She just turned 30 and we are planning my 50th. An age gap, to be sure. So when you take that age gap and put the marriage party in a room decorated like a child's bedroom ... well ... let us just say that when we found out that the stained glass was gone, I was elated. I loved the quirkiness, but I love the dark wood floors better.
Twinkie is not so happy and I respect that. She is grieving the whimsical quirkiness and I respect that.
So I do my happy dance quietly and in the dark - that is, when we are not PANICKING!!!! 23 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yours in "oh my goodness this sure snuck up on us" and love,
Cupcake
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
32 days and wedding presents
Last evening, I kept Twinkie awake by "encouraging" her to help me spend some time on our online wedding planning program (thank you Martha Stewart). We prepared and sent out our final few invites and recorded the latest responses that we have received.
We have 32 days to go til the big day, and only 50% of people have RSVP'd! Some of those are friends and we know they are coming - but we will still have to hound them to make that all-important decision - Fowl, Cow or Fish! Some people just haven't responded. Twinkie finds that surprising - but truth be told, I am usually the person who receives an invite, commits to it internally, then promptly loses the paper. I am always shocked when someone calls to invite me to an event that I clearly want to attend, and have already passively responded to, in my own mind, and yet they seem oblivious.
I don't know about most people, but I think long and hard about wedding gifts. I'm not wealthy, so I can't give people the things I want to give them, like a cottage, a plane, a pot-belly pig or a farm. So I try to think hard, and that is where I get into trouble. I'm much better and less creative when there is a registry.
Every time I leave my house with my clothes on and my hair dry and presentable, I thank the gods. It is a miracle. So leaving the house, clean and dry, with a wedding present in my arms, is an even bigger miracle. In fact, such a big miracle that it doesn't often happen.
For one wedding, I received a thank you card and the inside said "Thank you for attending our wedding". It was then I realized that the the wedding gift card with the wedding gift I had meant to mail was still sitting on the buffet at home. Oops. I'd like to say that this doesn't happen often. But I would be lying. Currently, upstairs, in a box, is the wedding present that just arrived for my brother and his wife. They were married four months ago. It is a pretty neat gift, but still ...
However, now we are on the other end of wedding gifts. It is an odd place to be. People keep asking us what we want and we just don't know what to say. But people want to give us something. People want us to know. People want a registry.
And it won't matter to us if someone forgets their card or gift at home. Won't matter to us if it comes four months later or not at all. Sweet, though, that people want to give us something to mark the start of our life together. So ... after the 6th person asked about a registry, we are going to set one up. Apparently, you get to use the scanning gun to do it. How tremendously exciting and cool. Deep breaths and gratitude and holy sh** in one month we will be married!!!!!!
With presents and presence and AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Yours in matrimony
Cupcake
We have 32 days to go til the big day, and only 50% of people have RSVP'd! Some of those are friends and we know they are coming - but we will still have to hound them to make that all-important decision - Fowl, Cow or Fish! Some people just haven't responded. Twinkie finds that surprising - but truth be told, I am usually the person who receives an invite, commits to it internally, then promptly loses the paper. I am always shocked when someone calls to invite me to an event that I clearly want to attend, and have already passively responded to, in my own mind, and yet they seem oblivious.
I don't know about most people, but I think long and hard about wedding gifts. I'm not wealthy, so I can't give people the things I want to give them, like a cottage, a plane, a pot-belly pig or a farm. So I try to think hard, and that is where I get into trouble. I'm much better and less creative when there is a registry.
Every time I leave my house with my clothes on and my hair dry and presentable, I thank the gods. It is a miracle. So leaving the house, clean and dry, with a wedding present in my arms, is an even bigger miracle. In fact, such a big miracle that it doesn't often happen.
For one wedding, I received a thank you card and the inside said "Thank you for attending our wedding". It was then I realized that the the wedding gift card with the wedding gift I had meant to mail was still sitting on the buffet at home. Oops. I'd like to say that this doesn't happen often. But I would be lying. Currently, upstairs, in a box, is the wedding present that just arrived for my brother and his wife. They were married four months ago. It is a pretty neat gift, but still ...
However, now we are on the other end of wedding gifts. It is an odd place to be. People keep asking us what we want and we just don't know what to say. But people want to give us something. People want us to know. People want a registry.
And it won't matter to us if someone forgets their card or gift at home. Won't matter to us if it comes four months later or not at all. Sweet, though, that people want to give us something to mark the start of our life together. So ... after the 6th person asked about a registry, we are going to set one up. Apparently, you get to use the scanning gun to do it. How tremendously exciting and cool. Deep breaths and gratitude and holy sh** in one month we will be married!!!!!!
With presents and presence and AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Yours in matrimony
Cupcake
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Also - Wedding Invite Oopsies
Now, I have been part of a lot of oopsies in my day. And I am not the most conservative thinker, in fact, some have called me eccentric. I have mostly lived my life thinking that if things aren't the way you'd like them - ask for them to be changed. Accept it if you get a "no", and accept graciously if you get a "yes". It takes a lot of guts for me to ask, but I have done it in many instances.
One in particular in which I have done it is weddings. When a relative was getting married a few years back, they had told me I could bring my girlfriend. They made a big to-do of talking about acceptance and equality and blahdiblah. I bought it hook, line and sinker - so when the wedding invite came - addressed to Cupcake and Creampuff, I thought there was a legitimate mistake. I called the relative and said there must be a mistake, this cannot be - my relative specifically invited my girlfriend. I was told, no mistake. The numbers are 100 and cannot possibly be 101.
It wasn't until I was told no, that I realized that this was homophobia. My relative's partner was not comfortable hosting the gays at the shindig. Shocking to me - and I'm sure to you as you read this, knowing how much fun the gays are. However, not for this person.
A few phone calls later, and my girlfriend, my sister, Creampuff and I were seated at the wedding. Around the corner behind a post, out of sight of the head table. It was quite a statement. We were included but included in a way that was out of sight.
Later that year, I received another wedding invite only to myself and I called and asked if I was supposed to bring someone or not supposed to bring someone. The entire guest list was 12 people. It was a big deal.
And here is the learning for me. My first wedding was a joint effort between my groom, my mother and the wedding planner. I did not pick a colour, a fabric, a dish, a hat. I didn't choose to have a say - I was not concerned with the details, nor the invitations, I just showed up. Spoiled, in retrospect - removed, in retrospect, but also - if I had been more involved, I might have truly realized the impact of the following lesson.
The names on the envelope are the names of the people we are able to invite.
Yes, one is welcome to call and inquire or clarify. And Yes, one is able to beg. But in the end result, the invitation is for the people on the envelope.
Now there is a gray area - I mean if people are dating, shouldn't you include their partner (we've done this) and if people are single, shouldn't you ask if they'd like to bring someone (we've done this). We have tried to include all the wonderful people we can.
And yet the demon guestlist looms.
We have had calls from people who assume they are bringing a +1, regardless of what it says on the envelope, and we've had to let them down. We have had many calls from men asking to bring their children. I am not talking about one or two calls, either. Well, three cheers to gender equality and hurrah for men caring about their children, but seriously????? What happened to the good old days when people wanted to have a drink, dance ridiculously and not have to answer to their children for it?
Now don't get me wrong, we absolutely love children. And if this was any other kind of party, we'd love to have them. And we are having some dear family children. But there are obstacles at the venue - like a deep pond with no fence. We have lovely Nedra and Dr. Professor and the Palindrome, whom we know and love and would love to have, and some other wonderful little people - but we also had to draw the line. Was it more important - to the spirit of the wedding - that we share our vows with adults or children - possibly a point to debate. And if we had some children, but not all - is that fair? Another point of debate. A rule became easier. Only the children we specifically invited and who are on the invitation.
One of the people who called said that it would be a good learning for the children. In the beginning of the planning, I wanted that for the guests - to see something different and expand their horizons and that was pretty important to me. As this path has gone forward, normalcy has taken over. This is an event for two people in love who want to spend their lives together. It isn't a gay wedding, it is a wedding. Not a spectacle. Although it will be to some who attend, this is no longer our focus. We are happy to broaden horizons, but much happier to be able to be married.
We crafted the guest list when we were together for three months and knew we wanted to marry each other and be together. We created it cozied up together and in joy and love. And we made choices about the people we want to come with us into the future. And we feel really guilty we can't include everyone we know, and we have met at least three marvellous people in the last little while who we'd love to have - but it turns out it is bad etiquette to bump someone already invited for someone you've just met.
I feel terrible and guilty fielding these calls. But it is part of the joy of doing it yourself. And part of being a grown up - choices, and disappointing with love and saying no. I'm sorry to all the children who can't be there, and I am so grateful for all the people who will give us their Saturday to share this day with us. And I'm so happy our dear family children will be there.
Yours in conflicted love and joy,
Cupcake
p.s. coming soon will be my wedding gift oopsies
One in particular in which I have done it is weddings. When a relative was getting married a few years back, they had told me I could bring my girlfriend. They made a big to-do of talking about acceptance and equality and blahdiblah. I bought it hook, line and sinker - so when the wedding invite came - addressed to Cupcake and Creampuff, I thought there was a legitimate mistake. I called the relative and said there must be a mistake, this cannot be - my relative specifically invited my girlfriend. I was told, no mistake. The numbers are 100 and cannot possibly be 101.
It wasn't until I was told no, that I realized that this was homophobia. My relative's partner was not comfortable hosting the gays at the shindig. Shocking to me - and I'm sure to you as you read this, knowing how much fun the gays are. However, not for this person.
A few phone calls later, and my girlfriend, my sister, Creampuff and I were seated at the wedding. Around the corner behind a post, out of sight of the head table. It was quite a statement. We were included but included in a way that was out of sight.
Later that year, I received another wedding invite only to myself and I called and asked if I was supposed to bring someone or not supposed to bring someone. The entire guest list was 12 people. It was a big deal.
And here is the learning for me. My first wedding was a joint effort between my groom, my mother and the wedding planner. I did not pick a colour, a fabric, a dish, a hat. I didn't choose to have a say - I was not concerned with the details, nor the invitations, I just showed up. Spoiled, in retrospect - removed, in retrospect, but also - if I had been more involved, I might have truly realized the impact of the following lesson.
The names on the envelope are the names of the people we are able to invite.
Yes, one is welcome to call and inquire or clarify. And Yes, one is able to beg. But in the end result, the invitation is for the people on the envelope.
Now there is a gray area - I mean if people are dating, shouldn't you include their partner (we've done this) and if people are single, shouldn't you ask if they'd like to bring someone (we've done this). We have tried to include all the wonderful people we can.
And yet the demon guestlist looms.
We have had calls from people who assume they are bringing a +1, regardless of what it says on the envelope, and we've had to let them down. We have had many calls from men asking to bring their children. I am not talking about one or two calls, either. Well, three cheers to gender equality and hurrah for men caring about their children, but seriously????? What happened to the good old days when people wanted to have a drink, dance ridiculously and not have to answer to their children for it?
Now don't get me wrong, we absolutely love children. And if this was any other kind of party, we'd love to have them. And we are having some dear family children. But there are obstacles at the venue - like a deep pond with no fence. We have lovely Nedra and Dr. Professor and the Palindrome, whom we know and love and would love to have, and some other wonderful little people - but we also had to draw the line. Was it more important - to the spirit of the wedding - that we share our vows with adults or children - possibly a point to debate. And if we had some children, but not all - is that fair? Another point of debate. A rule became easier. Only the children we specifically invited and who are on the invitation.
One of the people who called said that it would be a good learning for the children. In the beginning of the planning, I wanted that for the guests - to see something different and expand their horizons and that was pretty important to me. As this path has gone forward, normalcy has taken over. This is an event for two people in love who want to spend their lives together. It isn't a gay wedding, it is a wedding. Not a spectacle. Although it will be to some who attend, this is no longer our focus. We are happy to broaden horizons, but much happier to be able to be married.
We crafted the guest list when we were together for three months and knew we wanted to marry each other and be together. We created it cozied up together and in joy and love. And we made choices about the people we want to come with us into the future. And we feel really guilty we can't include everyone we know, and we have met at least three marvellous people in the last little while who we'd love to have - but it turns out it is bad etiquette to bump someone already invited for someone you've just met.
I feel terrible and guilty fielding these calls. But it is part of the joy of doing it yourself. And part of being a grown up - choices, and disappointing with love and saying no. I'm sorry to all the children who can't be there, and I am so grateful for all the people who will give us their Saturday to share this day with us. And I'm so happy our dear family children will be there.
Yours in conflicted love and joy,
Cupcake
p.s. coming soon will be my wedding gift oopsies
62 Days and Blowing
Woke up today to the wind whipping the house and blowing in the cracks of the windows - and I wondered what it would be like today in the little house in Cupids, Newfoundland. Days with wind like this happened all the time and the little house just stood proud at the top of the hill, withstanding the storms, as it had done for over 150 years. Except for the hurricane of 2010. In that hurricane, she lost some of her roof, and leaked a bit - but held tight and took good care of my stepbrother and stepsister.
Sadly, we sold the house in September, but I still visit it in my dreams and in my mind. We lived there beautifully - nothing extra, nothing fancy, just solid furnishings - but the house was really filled with laughter and love and friends. One of my dearest friends in the world, Rolypower, lived up the street with her family - and we spent many nights laughing and playing scattergories, and having dinners together. we spent many nights talking, talking, talking late into the night. We spent many nights laughing about the twists and turns that life had shown us. In those days, I was far more a part of that community than any other.
And it was a feast for the eyes - a wild, windy, unpredictable feast. Crazy water, hills, trees, blues, greens, browns, everything always moving, shifting - the weather a factor in everything - always present.
Last summer a renter saw two young moose walk right across the property. It seemed fitting that moose walked through the property as we gave it back to the family, as they had walked through the property the first day we owned it.
It breaks my heart, still, to have had to say goodbye to the house and Cupids. I'm glad the wind came here today to visit and reminisce. And I'm glad the house went back to the family - I didn't really ever own it anyway - it was always Muriel Dawe's house, and by some gift of the universe we all got to enjoy it for a few years.
With gratitude,
Cupcake
p.s. 62 days!!!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The importance of options!!!
So, we have 86 days to go til May 5, 2012. With this in mind, we've spend a lot of time the past few weeks on wedding stuff and planning and figuring. One of the things we want to do is to set aside a block of hotel rooms for family and friends. We also wanted to try to figure out some kind of way to have a rehearsal dinner and a breakfast together after the wedding. These celebrations are so precious and we want to cherish this opportunity to have so many of us close together.
And this celebration is not one I thought I'd see in my lifetime. I had heard of people having commitment ceremonies and weddings, but they weren't legal or binding. And then it happened - another option for us. The celebration of marriage. Wow.
So with this apple-cheeked, rose-coloured glasses optimism, we researched hotels and dreamed about how much fun it was going to be to get dressed for the big day in the hotel room! Running into family and friends in the lobby. Catching up.
We initially settled on the Ramada Hotel on Jarvis. Central. Inexpensive. Their customer service was fantastic. We checked it out in the daytime - fantastic. We gladly handed over a credit card. And then, that weekend, on a Saturday night, we decided to excitedly drive by and dream more about our big day. And so we did. And our collective jaws hit the ground.
Now we are both feminists and both open-minded individuals. We think everybody has the right to earn a living and make choices. But not in front of our wedding hotel, dressed in black pleather thigh-high go-go boots, standing with one foot on the steps of the hotel, your two other hooker friends on the other side of the steps, and the pimps standing 4 yards away, smoking. No. This is not what we want. This is not the hotel we dream of. And so we went back to the drawing board.
Because my sister is coming to town with her family, and because one of the things we love to do with my sister's family and Twinkie's sisters' families, is to swim, that was the criteria we used to find a hotel. And that is how we happened upon our next and hopefully final hotel choice, the Delta Chelsea.
So, this past Tuesday, we set out to check out the Delta Chelsea at night and also to see the rooms. We were told to meet Jody at the Children's check-in - which is adorable! Once we got there, we were told that Scott, a bellman, was going to take us around.
Once we met Scott we were convinced and it just kept getting better. Scott has worked at the hotel for 36 years. He thinks he'll work another 17. He knew the hotel inside and out. He knows all the rooms, all the floors - all the stories, all the halls. He made recommendations that were smart and kind and considerate and helped us problem solve. What a great employee.
He also talked about his past and his future and his choices and his options. When he started at the Delta Chelsea, he was 17. He didn't know about other jobs, other options or as Capote says - other voices, other rooms. He didn't know then that after 36 years, another company would have had a much better pension. He didn't know then that he'd have been able to retire already or be packaged out if he had chosen to work at Bell Canada or Ontario Hydro. He didn't know his options. And he certainly didn't know the impact that his choices would have on his future.
It will be a tremendous loss to the Delta Chelsea when Scott decides to retire, and it was a tremendous win for us to have met Scott and have him show us the best of the Delta Chelsea and offer us the best for our wedding. Added bonus - despite our age difference, etc., he just knew we were the wedding couple - no questions asked, no problem, just assumed gay wedding. Wonderful.
We had asked him about a small meeting room, and we walked out of there that night so excited about a wonderful hospitality suite complete with bathroom and fridge, dining table, sofas, t.v. and cupboard, attached on both sides to hotel rooms for some of the wedding party. Perfect. So many questions and such a perfect solution. Thank you Scott. And thank you ladies of the night.
And now we are dreaming of how much fun it will be to have the rehearsal dinner in the hospitality suite - kids running around, both of our sisters and their families there, family, wedding party, friends, out of town guests, maybe some swimming, maybe some turns down the 4 storey water slide. All our favourite people, together, to celebrate options and the fact that sometimes, luckily, we get it right.
Let the games begin.
Yours in a hospitality suite,
Cupcake
And this celebration is not one I thought I'd see in my lifetime. I had heard of people having commitment ceremonies and weddings, but they weren't legal or binding. And then it happened - another option for us. The celebration of marriage. Wow.
So with this apple-cheeked, rose-coloured glasses optimism, we researched hotels and dreamed about how much fun it was going to be to get dressed for the big day in the hotel room! Running into family and friends in the lobby. Catching up.
We initially settled on the Ramada Hotel on Jarvis. Central. Inexpensive. Their customer service was fantastic. We checked it out in the daytime - fantastic. We gladly handed over a credit card. And then, that weekend, on a Saturday night, we decided to excitedly drive by and dream more about our big day. And so we did. And our collective jaws hit the ground.
Now we are both feminists and both open-minded individuals. We think everybody has the right to earn a living and make choices. But not in front of our wedding hotel, dressed in black pleather thigh-high go-go boots, standing with one foot on the steps of the hotel, your two other hooker friends on the other side of the steps, and the pimps standing 4 yards away, smoking. No. This is not what we want. This is not the hotel we dream of. And so we went back to the drawing board.
Because my sister is coming to town with her family, and because one of the things we love to do with my sister's family and Twinkie's sisters' families, is to swim, that was the criteria we used to find a hotel. And that is how we happened upon our next and hopefully final hotel choice, the Delta Chelsea.
So, this past Tuesday, we set out to check out the Delta Chelsea at night and also to see the rooms. We were told to meet Jody at the Children's check-in - which is adorable! Once we got there, we were told that Scott, a bellman, was going to take us around.
Once we met Scott we were convinced and it just kept getting better. Scott has worked at the hotel for 36 years. He thinks he'll work another 17. He knew the hotel inside and out. He knows all the rooms, all the floors - all the stories, all the halls. He made recommendations that were smart and kind and considerate and helped us problem solve. What a great employee.
He also talked about his past and his future and his choices and his options. When he started at the Delta Chelsea, he was 17. He didn't know about other jobs, other options or as Capote says - other voices, other rooms. He didn't know then that after 36 years, another company would have had a much better pension. He didn't know then that he'd have been able to retire already or be packaged out if he had chosen to work at Bell Canada or Ontario Hydro. He didn't know his options. And he certainly didn't know the impact that his choices would have on his future.
It will be a tremendous loss to the Delta Chelsea when Scott decides to retire, and it was a tremendous win for us to have met Scott and have him show us the best of the Delta Chelsea and offer us the best for our wedding. Added bonus - despite our age difference, etc., he just knew we were the wedding couple - no questions asked, no problem, just assumed gay wedding. Wonderful.
We had asked him about a small meeting room, and we walked out of there that night so excited about a wonderful hospitality suite complete with bathroom and fridge, dining table, sofas, t.v. and cupboard, attached on both sides to hotel rooms for some of the wedding party. Perfect. So many questions and such a perfect solution. Thank you Scott. And thank you ladies of the night.
And now we are dreaming of how much fun it will be to have the rehearsal dinner in the hospitality suite - kids running around, both of our sisters and their families there, family, wedding party, friends, out of town guests, maybe some swimming, maybe some turns down the 4 storey water slide. All our favourite people, together, to celebrate options and the fact that sometimes, luckily, we get it right.
Let the games begin.
Yours in a hospitality suite,
Cupcake
Saturday, February 4, 2012
How did you get Creampuff?
Our wedding is bringing a lot of people together who have never met. Which I guess is typical. We wanted to bring our wedding party together and have everyone meet and get to know each other. So we set a date in December, got as many people as we could - who were available that day, and had a fantastic eggs benedict brunch.
We had a few laughs, a fantastic brunch, and got a few ideas from each other. Everyone got along really well and that was amazing to see.
So incredibly heartwarming to bring pieces of your different lives together and see a fun and lovely group of people bonding together. It was really exquisite and we hope to do it again soon.
It is a bit hard to do things like that - to ask people to give up a precious Sunday to come for a day of planning our wedding - but everyone was so gracious and happy to be there - thank you all!
And then in January, we got to finally go to Winnipeg and spend some incredible time with CupcakenephewW and CupcakenephewB and my sister and brother-in-law. They are so far away, and when we have these get togethers, one of the toughest things for me is that Creampuff is away at university and my sister is too far away to share it with us. So these visits to Winnipeg are so incredibly precious and sweet.
And CupcakenephewB said something to us that is such a testament to my sister and such a testament to the new world. One day when we were swimming, CupcakenephewB said to me, Cupcake, if you and Twinkie aren't married yet, how did you get Creampuff?
So very sweet.
Yours in deep gratitude and appreciation and love
Cupcake
We had a few laughs, a fantastic brunch, and got a few ideas from each other. Everyone got along really well and that was amazing to see.
So incredibly heartwarming to bring pieces of your different lives together and see a fun and lovely group of people bonding together. It was really exquisite and we hope to do it again soon.
It is a bit hard to do things like that - to ask people to give up a precious Sunday to come for a day of planning our wedding - but everyone was so gracious and happy to be there - thank you all!
And then in January, we got to finally go to Winnipeg and spend some incredible time with CupcakenephewW and CupcakenephewB and my sister and brother-in-law. They are so far away, and when we have these get togethers, one of the toughest things for me is that Creampuff is away at university and my sister is too far away to share it with us. So these visits to Winnipeg are so incredibly precious and sweet.
And CupcakenephewB said something to us that is such a testament to my sister and such a testament to the new world. One day when we were swimming, CupcakenephewB said to me, Cupcake, if you and Twinkie aren't married yet, how did you get Creampuff?
So very sweet.
Yours in deep gratitude and appreciation and love
Cupcake
Wedding Week Extravaganza!!!
Wow. This week has been breathtaking. We knocked a ton of things off our list and organized so very much. Exhausting and also surprisingly fun.
Rooms are pre-booked at the Ramada, wedding party stuff is managed, we also BOOKED THE DJ!!! This shindig is actually going to happen this time.
Wanna know the menu?
Okay - here goes:
Veggie Roll
Spanokopita
Mac and Cheese Fritters
Greek Salad
Cheese Cannelloni with Garlic Bread
Gourmet Barbecue - choice of two meats (steak, chicken or salmon) or veggie :)
Roasted Potatoes, Grilled Veggies, Wild Rice
Dessert
Cupcakes
Late night pizza table!!!!!
Yee Haw!!!!
Yours in planning
Cupcake
Rooms are pre-booked at the Ramada, wedding party stuff is managed, we also BOOKED THE DJ!!! This shindig is actually going to happen this time.
Wanna know the menu?
Okay - here goes:
Veggie Roll
Spanokopita
Mac and Cheese Fritters
Greek Salad
Cheese Cannelloni with Garlic Bread
Gourmet Barbecue - choice of two meats (steak, chicken or salmon) or veggie :)
Roasted Potatoes, Grilled Veggies, Wild Rice
Dessert
Cupcakes
Late night pizza table!!!!!
Yee Haw!!!!
Yours in planning
Cupcake
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Hanging on and Hanging In - 100 days to go!
I've heard people say that the most important thing you can do in life is to show up. If that is so, perhaps the second most important thing you can do is to hang on or hang in. I'm sure there are worse things than unemployment to try a relationship - I know that there are. But unemployment, for us, has taken a toll. And somehow, we have hung in and hung on.
I have a great contract now with a great group of people, most importantly D.W. - and I am grateful for the gift of his presence in my life. And I am grateful for the really interesting contract with interesting people doing a really interesting job.
Our last post was November 19th, just after my brother's wedding - which was really, really fun! In November, we also had a first meeting of most of our wedding party - which coincidentally grew in numbers after our meeting. We had a lovely eggs benedict brunch at #69. Venus and Knotty Girl were there, S.C. (who definitely needs a code name, suggestions welcome), Tiger, Cupcake, Twinkie, Twinkie's sister, and Mr. Filofax, our wedding Planner. It was a nice morning/afternoon with much laughter, many exchanges of numbers and some great connections. It really was great to bring everyone together.
Creampuff was still in school, so she missed the festivities.
We have lagged in our planning, but we still may be able to pull it all together!
We're getting married now at MCC Toronto - which will help people to not fall in the Koi pool during the wedding ceremony, and also will help people to stay dry in the event of rain (or snow) :). The reception is still at Fantasy Farms, despite the fact that the previously promised renovations have failed to materialize, so ... we will all be celebrating in the midst of Cinderella and various other stained glass fairy tale creatures.
We've just ordered our invitations and sent out address requests. Later today, we'll be sending out an email asking if people will want to book a hotel - so that we know how many rooms to book at the Ramada Inn.
There is a lot to do. We need to book our cottage in PEI for the duration and take some time off - and make sure that our guests get fed. The booze has been ordered and most people have set aside the date. So ... the celebration, despite lacking a few details, is set to go.
And we are hanging on. So much around us is changing, the economy is affecting so much and so many. Some of our dear friends have had horrible surprises in their life and become suddenly single - some of our dear friends have had great surprises in their life and become suddenly in love. The guest list we created when we first got together is quite different now than it was then. So strange when you start documenting change and flux.
And so much admiration and respect for people who have hung on and hung in and so much admiration and respect for people who have let go and moved on. There really are no guarantees nor any promises, nor much of a sure thing. Which is why we want to celebrate the fact that despite everything, we still are the best of friends, we still laugh our way through most days, and in the midst of it all, we still want to do it all together, hand in hand, heart in hand, holding our little family close and being grateful for all of it. **sigh**
Yours in gratitude,
Cupcake
I have a great contract now with a great group of people, most importantly D.W. - and I am grateful for the gift of his presence in my life. And I am grateful for the really interesting contract with interesting people doing a really interesting job.
Our last post was November 19th, just after my brother's wedding - which was really, really fun! In November, we also had a first meeting of most of our wedding party - which coincidentally grew in numbers after our meeting. We had a lovely eggs benedict brunch at #69. Venus and Knotty Girl were there, S.C. (who definitely needs a code name, suggestions welcome), Tiger, Cupcake, Twinkie, Twinkie's sister, and Mr. Filofax, our wedding Planner. It was a nice morning/afternoon with much laughter, many exchanges of numbers and some great connections. It really was great to bring everyone together.
Creampuff was still in school, so she missed the festivities.
We have lagged in our planning, but we still may be able to pull it all together!
We're getting married now at MCC Toronto - which will help people to not fall in the Koi pool during the wedding ceremony, and also will help people to stay dry in the event of rain (or snow) :). The reception is still at Fantasy Farms, despite the fact that the previously promised renovations have failed to materialize, so ... we will all be celebrating in the midst of Cinderella and various other stained glass fairy tale creatures.
We've just ordered our invitations and sent out address requests. Later today, we'll be sending out an email asking if people will want to book a hotel - so that we know how many rooms to book at the Ramada Inn.
There is a lot to do. We need to book our cottage in PEI for the duration and take some time off - and make sure that our guests get fed. The booze has been ordered and most people have set aside the date. So ... the celebration, despite lacking a few details, is set to go.
And we are hanging on. So much around us is changing, the economy is affecting so much and so many. Some of our dear friends have had horrible surprises in their life and become suddenly single - some of our dear friends have had great surprises in their life and become suddenly in love. The guest list we created when we first got together is quite different now than it was then. So strange when you start documenting change and flux.
And so much admiration and respect for people who have hung on and hung in and so much admiration and respect for people who have let go and moved on. There really are no guarantees nor any promises, nor much of a sure thing. Which is why we want to celebrate the fact that despite everything, we still are the best of friends, we still laugh our way through most days, and in the midst of it all, we still want to do it all together, hand in hand, heart in hand, holding our little family close and being grateful for all of it. **sigh**
Yours in gratitude,
Cupcake
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